1 year ago | 4
(801):

he said he had a bf but the monogamy was ‘only implied’

(801):

he said he had a bf but the monogamy was ‘only implied’

1 year ago | 0

 (913)
 My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits

 (913)

My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits

1 year ago | 2

(541)
 they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn’t stop trying to unzip the paramedic’s pants

(541)

they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn’t stop trying to unzip the paramedic’s pants

1 year ago | 1

 (1-314) 
You’re the worst gay friend ever.

 (1-314)

You’re the worst gay friend ever.

1 year ago | 1

(401):
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage…

(401):
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage…
1 year ago | 2

(843) I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today

(843) I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today

1 year ago | 2

 (+61)
 I have a new game. It’s called “how weird can you act before a guy won’t fuck you”. I’ve deducted most guys are willing even if you’re batshit insane.

 (+61)

I have a new game. It’s called “how weird can you act before a guy won’t fuck you”. I’ve deducted most guys are willing even if you’re batshit insane.

1 year ago | 1

 (507)
 Puked in the trees in forest, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr

 (507)

Puked in the trees in forest, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr

1 year ago | 2

(260)
 I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra

(260)

I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra

2 years ago | 4
(365):
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, “I’M NOT JUDGING YOU” over and over
(1-365): 
I was judging you

(365):

As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, “I’M NOT JUDGING YOU” over and over

(1-365): 

I was judging you